Are you finding yourself exhausted from running to work, parties + meetings while just trying to make sure you have groceries in the cupboards + the laundry hamper isn’t overflowing? You’re not alone. I have been a perpetual “list maker” + always focusing on what has to get done instead of taking the time to just chill out. The difference between the list making problem I had until recently + the person I am now is simple… I let that way of thinking go.
I have been a perfectionist, people-pleasing, over-obsessing + control freak ever since I can remember, but that way of thinking + obsessing drove me straight into the ground. I really NEEDED to have all of the meal prep done by Sunday night, all of the laundry clean + folded (not to mention put away just how it belonged) + I needed the house to be in order. With my best efforts going to keep this way of life afloat, I needed something to give but I didn’t want to give up the way I prepared for my week, my clean + tidy house or my laundry routine (anything but that)! 😉 But I needed to switch it up… So I decided to give myself grace. I stopped making “To-Do” lists a few months ago.
At first I will admit that I felt lost + panicked; I didn’t know where to start with the daily chores, my routine of balancing my business, both jobs, my marriage + the everyday things. But then I realized that the lists had actually been holding me back! When I woke up, I didn’t immediately start reaching for my list + trying to see what I could check off before 8 am. Instead, I was listening to what I needed + WANTED to do for myself. Since ridding myself of these freakish “To-Do” lists, I actually take the time to sit on the living room floor + play fetch with Scout, I drink a cup of coffee + take the time to light a freaking candle when I need a retreat from my day… just because I want to. Guys, it feels SO good!
If you’re not a perfectionist or juggling lots of commitments, I know it might sound crazy, but for those of you who are always swinging from one thing to the next while trying to manage your everyday life… you feel me on this, right? I never allowed myself permission to let the expectations go (yes even my own) about having my week all lined up before Monday morning. Crazy? It was for me. It wasn’t because someone told me my bed always needed to be made, that laundry can’t be exploding over the hamper sides once a week or the fact that sometimes you have no choice but to eat mac n cheese for dinner again because you couldn’t make it to the grocery store Sunday night (P.S. I have never once complained about having mac n’ cheese). 😉 . The point I’m making here is that I have always wanted things to look right, I always wanted to be prepared for everything + feel like I have it together. But that’s just not possible or realistic if you intend on being a semi-sane human being. If not, all it takes is one dish to be left in the sink, one pair of dirty socks left on the living room floor or a toothpaste smudge left in the sink to send you over the edge into crazy town. This is somewhere I don’t intend on going back to guys, ‘cuz I’ve been there + it’s not pretty. 😉
Since letting these expectations go for myself, I am enjoying a much higher quality of life. Some days I let the bed go un-made, the meal prep doesn’t happen on Sunday, the laundry gets done during the week between jobs, the dishes pile up in the sink (this still drives me bonkers) + our dining room table has junk mail or Christmas decorations piling on it, just waiting to be put away + organized. Today is one of those days. I was planning to head into the office, but I woke up, looked at my calendar, realized we had been going all weekend with holiday parties, house renovation projects + family time. I knew I needed a re-charge. So today, I’m allowing myself grace. I’m taking the time to hang with Scoutie, catch up on laundry + get my work done from home. The cleaning will be done soon enough. I can get the rest of our shopping done another day before our house guests arrive next week (can’t wait to see my parents + sister), + most of all, I deserve this peace of mind.
My recharge happens when I take care of myself, when I take the time to rest my mind + my body. I need this time + I actually crave it when I’ve been busy doing even the things I enjoy most. I realize this might not be your personal way of thinking or how you recharge your own self when you need it, but it’s been an epiphany that has been right in front of my nose for years + I’m finally allowing myself to let my own expectations go. I’d love to hear how you recharge your own batteries during a busy week, while prepping for the holidays or just during a normal, chaotic, on the verge of tears because you “just can’t” anymore kind of day. Drop me a line or send me a personal message, + happy Monday, friends!