Did you catch my latest post on Instagram? I decided to share a little bit about my ex-addiction to caffeine. Did you know you can be addicted to caffeine? Well, you can! In fact, addiction to just about anything’s possible + it’s important to educate yourself on the dangers you might be exposing your mind + body to on a weekly or daily basis. Let me share a bit more…
Addiction to caffeine was something that started for me back in my early adulthood. I was working a full-time job as a nanny, a part-time job as a dance instructor, going to college full-time, oh… + did I mention I was cheering in the NFL too? Yup, I was always going. At the time, I didn’t think I needed caffeine to get by from day-to-day, just on particular occasions when I would find myself not getting adequate amount of rest or feeling a little groggy in the morning. Buuuut…. That changed quickly when my eating disorder started to spin out of control. I found myself constantly tired + lethargic after skipping meals, working out for hours on end, + purging just about everything I ate. I needed energy quick + caffeine became my fix. At first I turned to energy drinks, but then that wouldn’t do the trick, so I changed it up to Diet Coke… brilliant idea, right? I think I’ll just go off the record + tell you that was one of the worst ideas I ever had, like for real. I ended up drinking 1-2 cans of energy drinks per day + would consume anywhere from 4-10 cans of Diet Coke a day. Can you say insanity? Go ahead, I’ll say it with you…. it was insanity.
After a few months, I ended up with crazy bad stomach ulcers, having a terrible memory + fainting all over the damn place. I didn’t realize I had a problem though- to me caffeine was a SOLUTION. If you have been following my story, you know I sought professional help for my addiction to food, caffeine + exercise + I’ve been in recovery for 6 years now, however I learned so much while working on myself that I want to share this information. Addictions come in all forms, not just the ones you hear most about like drugs + alcohol. Addiction shows its ugly face in the form of caffeine, food, sex, shopping, gambling, stealing, video games (have you seen that new-ish game Fort Nite?! … omg…), not to mention opioids, exercise… the list goes on. The reason I share these things with you is because it is so easy to become dependent on something that can be a crutch to get you through your day.
I’d like to ask you to take the time to step back in your day + ask yourself if you really need the thing you’re doing or choosing to bring into your life. Is it that extra cup or two of coffee, that second doughnut or another handful of chips? What about online shopping again when you are just maxing out your credit card? I challenge you to become more mindful in your thoughts, actions + daily routine the rest of the week + into the weekend. Are you avoiding something with these behaviors or with your actions? I’ll tell you that I usually have 1-2 cups of coffee each day, + that second cup of coffee I’m really trying to pay attention to. Do I really need it or want it? Maybe it’s all in my head. Take the time to stop + think about it, you might surprise yourself + end up grateful for your newfound sense of awareness.